Post-Cheney, VP actually worth something

BY ELLIS HENICAN

May 23, 2008

When it comes to the job of vice president, Dick Cheney changed everything. He did this, once and for all, by silencing Cactus Jack.

Cheney has his faults. Obviously. But give the conniving Veep this much credit as the presumptive 2008 Republican and Democratic nominees for president begin vetting their prospective VPs: No one is quoting John Nance Garner this year.

Garner came from Texas and was widely known as Cactus Jack. Around 1900, he'd sought to make the prickly-pear cactus the state flower. Although the bluebonnet ultimately won that honor, the nickname stuck.

After serving in Congress, Cactus Jack ran for the Democratic presidential nomination in 1932. His campaign came up short against Franklin Delano Roosevelt -- note the potential Hillary parallel -- and Garner accepted an offer to be FDR's No. 2, a job he held for eight frustrating years. He grew so angry at his own impotence, one day he blurted out what became the most famous quote ever about the American vice presidency.

The job, Cactus Jack said, is "not worth a bucket of warm p-ss."

Well, now look.

John McCain is greeting the holiday at his Arizona ranch, taking the measure of potential vice presidents: Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal, Florida Gov. Charlie Christ and (in the Garner role) presidential also-ran Mitt Romney.

On the Democratic side, former Fannie Mae CEO Jim Johnson is among those being mentioned for Barack Obama.

Serious people, gainfully employed, almost all of them.

If the job is as irrelevant as Garner warned, why such a queue to get it?

Why has Hillary Clinton suddenly stopped attacking Barack Obama? Why is Bill Clinton "pushing real hard" for a Hillary-veep offer, as Time magazine reports?

And if not in hopes of slipping into Dick Cheney's shoes, what is truly motivating Hillary's endless (and increasingly hopeless) campaign?

As Cheney proved vice president can be a position of real power, especially when serving a less formidable president.

Cactus Jack's bucket may still be warm after all these years. But after Cheney, God only knows what's sloshing around in there.