Star of “Return Of the Killer Tomatoes,” George Clooney is putting his ’08 Tesla Roadster (number 0008 built) up for auction at the fancy firm Gooding & Company. Who cares, right?
Well, it’s an electric sports car, which means when you do burnouts in the parking lot it makes sounds like your laptop after watching 3 hours of dogs farting on the internets. This makes it a game-changer.
More importantly, the proceeds are supposed to benefit the Satellite Sentinel Project, which uses a satellite to check on the sensitive boarders of Sudan to prevent civil war. Civil war is bad.
Also the car probably also smells like Clooney, which I’ve heard women prefer.