British singer Adele, who dotes on her 4-year-old son Angelo, has revealed that she suffered from postpartum depression.
“I love my son more than anything, but on a daily basis, if I have a minute or two, I wish I could do whatever . . . I wanted, whenever I want. Every single day I feel like that,” the Oscar- and Grammy Award-winning star, 28, says in the December issue of Vanity Fair. She does not plan on having any other children with her partner of five years, Simon Konecki, because “I’m too scared. I had really bad postpartum depression after I had my son, and it frightened me.”
Eschewing antidepressants, Adele says a breakthrough came in speaking with another mother who also suffered from postpartum depression. “And it was done. It lifted. My knowledge of postpartum — or postnatal, as we call it in England — is that you don’t want to be with your child, you’re worried you might hurt your child, you’re worried you weren’t doing a good job,” she said. “But I was obsessed with my child. I felt very inadequate; I felt like I’d made the worst decision of my life.”
Adele eventually told herself, “I’m going to give myself an afternoon a week, just to do whatever . . . I want without my baby. A friend of mine said, ‘Really? Don’t you feel bad?’ I said, ‘I do, but not as bad as I’d feel if I didn’t do it.’ Four of my friends felt the same way I did, and everyone was too embarrassed to talk about it. They thought everyone would think they were a bad mom, and it’s not the case. It makes you a better mom if you give yourself a better time.”
Angelo has been accompanying Adele on her current tour, she said, “but at times I feel guilty because . . . even though my son is with me all the time, on certain nights I can’t put him to bed. I never feel guilty when I’m not working,” explaining, “You’re constantly trying to make up for stuff when you’re a mom. I don’t mind, because of the love I feel for him. . . . I don’t care if I don’t ever get to do anything for myself again.”