Some learned tough lessons via formal education, others in the school of hard knocks. Either way, these celebrities would make great advice columnists were Dear Abby in need of a successor.
Comedians tend to be smarter than your average celebrity, and Chris Rock wouldn't just dole out advice with humor: He would be direct.
If you've been reared by Cher, you have something to say. And Chaz Bono, who has very publicly transitioned from female to male, has proven he's brave enough to speak his mind.
Known for having a high IQ, Steve Martin is a total overachiever. Who wouldn't want a therapist who's an actor, comedian, author and expert banjo player?
Actress and singer Jennifer Lopez will focus on relationship advice. Naturally.
Roseanne Barr cannot filter herself. Cannot.
She's smart, she's educated, she has access. Michelle Obama is a triple threat, plus she has a stint as guest editor (for NBC's iVillage) on her resume.
Director John Waters's mind has created worlds as diverse and enticing as "Pink Flamingos" and "Hairspray." Whatever he has to say, we shall abide.
The aunt we always wanted, singer Dolly Parton has crammed a lot of life into her 66 years. And if you need proof, just read her autobiography, "My Life and Other Unfinished Business."
Director Quentin Tarantino wavers between nails-on-chalkboard annoyance and brilliance, so somewhere in there should be entertaining nuggets of truth.
Though the former "Partridge Family" star definitely won't give good advice, Danny Bonaduce is like a Howard Stern with nothing to lose. This could result in a train wreck, this could result in gold. Either way, we're tuning in.
She will definitely have trouble with the rigors of working under a deadline, and she might have to call Courtney Love from time to time with grammar questions. But Lindsay Lohan is enough of a chameleon, she'll be able to empathize with quite a breadth of readers.
It's always nice to have a misanthrope's take on the world, and Louis C.K. helps us hate life with at least the crack of a smile.