Model and cookbook author Chrissy Teigen has penned a more than 1,100-word follow-up to her public apology last month to Courtney Stodden over Teigen's years-ago cyberbullying of the media personality.
"It has been a VERY humbling few weeks," Teigen, 35, wife of Grammy Award-winning singer and "The Voice" coach John Legend, wrote at Medium.com on Monday. "I've been quiet, and lord knows you don't want to hear about me, but I want you to know I've been sitting in a hole of deserved global punishment, the ultimate 'sit here and think about what you've done.' Not a day, not a single moment has passed where I haven't felt the crushing weight of regret for the things I've said in the past."
Teigen said she was "truly ashamed" of her "awful, awful" tweets from 2011 and 2012 in which she trolled then-teenage glamour model Stodden, now 26 — who had first garnered attention as the 16-year-old bride of then 51-year-old actor Doug Hutchinson, from whom Stodden is now divorced — and reflected that, "As I look at them and understand the hurt they caused, I have to stop and wonder: How could I have done that?"
Alluding to her other cyberbullying victims, she added, "I've apologized publicly to one person, but there are others — and more than just a few — who I need to say I'm sorry to. … There is simply no excuse for my past horrible tweets. My targets didn't deserve them. No one does. Many of them needed empathy, kindness, understanding and support, not my meanness masquerading as a kind of casual, edgy humor. I was a troll, full stop. And I am so sorry."
Crediting marriage, children, therapy and growing older, Teigen said that while she and her husband "preach kindness" to their daughter Luna, 5, and son Miles, 3, she wonders, "Will they eventually realize there is some hypocrisy there? I certainly do. But I hope they recognize my evolution."
In a May interview with The Daily Beast, Stodden, who recently came out as nonbinary and also recently got engaged, said celebrities including Teigen, Joy Behar and Courtney Love had also denounced them publicly, characterizing the teen as opportunistic and attention-seeking. Teigen in particular "wouldn't just publicly tweet about wanting me to take 'a dirt nap' but would privately DM [direct-message] me and tell me to kill myself."
On Teigen's Instagram post about her Medium essay, Legend commented four emoji hearts. Teigen also received supportive comments from actors Selma Blair, Yvette Nicole Brown, Jennifer Garner and Zoe Saldana.
Stodden, who with caveats had accepted Teigen's May 12 apology, has not commented publicly about Monday's essay.