On her daytime talk show Tuesday, Ellen DeGeneres told her audience that she had to rush her wife, Portia de Rossi, to the hospital over the weekend for an emergency appendectomy.
"It started on Friday, in the evening around 7:30," the comedian, 63, said in the opening monologue of her prerecorded show. DeGeneres was watching television, "and Portia said, 'I'm not feeling well. I want to go to bed.' And it was like 8 o'clock and, you know, that's early. I'm not used to going to bed that early. We go to bed around 8:30," she joked.
"So I'm laying in bed and I'm, like, conking out … and I hear something and I look over and Portia's not in bed next to me. And I call out, 'Are you OK?' " After hearing an anguished moan from art curator and former actress de Rossi, 48, who DeGeneres said was on the bathroom floor "on all fours," followed by a weak assurance of being fine, "I said, 'Well, you're OK if you're playing Twister by yourself, but you're not OK. You're on the floor.' "
En route to an emergency room, DeGeneres recalled, de Rossi was "in so much pain and I'm worried about her.
"And I don't know what's wrong with her because as you know," she said, setting up a joke, "I grew up [in] Christian Science," a religion that professes the belief in spiritual healing rather than standard medical care, but which according to its website does allow adherents "to choose for themselves and their families the kind of health care that meets their needs." "So my best guess," DeGeneres riffed, "was — a demon?"
She returned to the joke later, saying that after de Rossi received a CT scan and was admitted to the hospital without a diagnosis, DeGeneres was sent home due to COVID-19 protocols. "And the next morning they call and they said, 'It's the appendix. We have to take the appendix out.' And I'm Christian Science, so I said to the doctor, 'Because of the demon? The appendix had the demon?' And anyway, they hung up."
De Rossi has since returned home, DeGeneres said — but not, she joked, "all of her — she left her appendix at the hospital." To audience chuckles, she continued. "No, the appendix, I'm going to auction off the appendix for charity. I'm kidding — it's going to go on eBay. I'm kidding again. I'm saving it in case I write another book, so I'll put it at the end of the book," she said, to more chuckles. "The appendix? You get it? It would just be one book, I guess."
"Thank you to everyone who sent messages of love and support," DeGeneres wrote on social media Tuesday. "Portia is doing much better and doesn't miss that appendix at all."