Michael Jordan made Tiger Woods do it.
That's what a former Woods adviser tells Vanity Fair in the May issue, which hit newsstands Wednesday.
"I told him, 'Stay away from that son of a -- [Jordan], because he doesn't have anything to offer to the -- world in which he lives except playing basketball,' " lawyer John Merchant told the article's author, Mark Seal.
Seal also interviewed four of the pro golfer's alleged mistresses and other Woods insiders for the juicy 14-page package.
Here are three revelations - fit for a family newspaper - from the story:
1. Woods' thriftiness has been reported in the past, but alleged mistress Mindy Lawton (the waitress) told Seal the only thing Woods ever bought for her was a chicken wrap from Subway. Another alleged mistress, Jamie Jungers, broke it off, she said, because he refused to help her financially.
2. Seal reports that Woods' favorite place to stay in Las Vegas was the Mansion at the MGM Grand (a one-bedroom suite is $5,000 a night). Woods would gamble at an exclusive casino nearby. According to a source known as Robin Hood 702, "sometimes the only people in the place were me, Tiger Woods and Michael Jordan. Each of us sat at our own private table and played big. Tiger plays big. Up to 30 grand a hand . . . and when you're playing splits and doubles, you can have 150 grand on one hand."
3. Another insider told Seal that Woods' late father, Earl Woods, was a heavy-drinking womanizer. The person remembered sitting next to the elder Woods at an awards dinner: "Everybody was in coat and tie, and Earl's sitting there in these little hot pants - short-shorts - and a golf shirt, and he's got a big old vodka gimlet going and a cigarette burning, and he's sound asleep, just hammered. . . . And the announcer says, 'Ladies and gentlemen, Earl Woods!' And he jumped up, spilled his drink all over the front of his shirt. . . . And he gets up there at the podium and starts talking psychobabble."