You're not a Manhattanite, a gossip girl or what's left of the I-banking contingent. And you don't have a share house.
So how does a young Long Islander capitalize on the area's greatest somewhat natural resource: summer in the Hamptons?
Simple. Go pool hopping. This summer's newest trend in the Hamptons has people dining and drinking at poolside brunch parties - some extend into most of the day. Each has its own unique vibe.
At all, though, you can get the share house experience (minus the sharing of bathrooms and the passing out in someone else's bed), chill by the pool and party the day away.
DAY & NIGHT RESTAURANT BEACH CLUB
When & Where: Noon-7 p.m. Saturdays and Sundays, 281 Country Road 39A, Southampton
Info: 631-731-3309, firstname.lastname@example.org
The vibe: Party starter
What you give: $14-$18 drinks (bottle service available), $12-$30 for food; $10 valet parking.
What you get: Step out of your car and you'll feel like you're walking into the French Riviera at this see-and-be-seen spot, which shares the space with the Capri Hotel and Pink Elephant next door. Reservations are highly recommended (otherwise, you'll have to duke the doorman a few bills). Guests get the day started with a European-American brunch at the 14 dining tables right in the sun. On the menu: omelettes, French toast, colossal shrimp, lobster rolls, burgers, a raw bar and the biggest crab legs in American history. If you want some shade, plan to spend more for bottle service in one of the 20 or so cabana beds.
On Saturdays, DJs mix hip-hop and pop early in the afternoon, then switch to house and club music as the party turns into high gear. Don't be surprised to see girls and guys dancing near the pool, in the pool and anywhere else they can find. Sundays are a bit more relaxed.
When & Where: Noon-8 p.m. Saturdays, 90 Second House Road, Montauk
Info: 631-668-2105, soleeast.com
The vibe: Chillax
What you give: Admission and parking are free - drinks average $10 (bottle service available) and food, $10-$12.
What you get: Montauk made its mark as a relaxed spot, the very essence of "un-Hampton." Sole East, at its core a swanky hideaway hotel, captures that Montauk vibe. Here you can park your car and walk right into peace, complete with 20 day beds, a poolside DJ, bottle service and food from the Backyard Restaurant (think salads, sandwiches and sliders).
The beds around the pool are first-come, first-serve, which means if you're smart, you'll get there early and secure one for the day. If you absolutely must reserve a bed in advance, there's a two-bottle minimum. Otherwise, they're free . . . so long as you and your crew are running a tab during your stay.
The U-shaped seating arrangements near the bar resemble a high-end Manhattan lounge, just outside and near a pool. There's also a row of wooden chaise lounge sets separated from the pool by shrubs. If you can't find a nice spot to chill at Sole East, you might as well spend the weekend at the office.
When & Where: Noon-6 p.m. Sundays, 91 Hill St., Southampton
Info: 631-283-1166, southamptoninn.com
The vibe: All-inclusive party
What you give: Admission and parking are free - drinks about $10 (bottle service available); $9-$16 food.
What you get: OSO, the Inn's restaurant, prepares a new menu each week. Expect Tapas-style servings including dishes such as lamb carpaccio, shrimp dim sum and pizettes. Of course, traditional breakfast egg dishes are available as are hamburgers.
The DJ spins club music around the pool. Go for a dip while listening to beats and sipping on a cocktail or two. Isn't that what summer days in the Hamptons are supposed to be? Just south of Rte. 27, this summer brunch party could easily become the final weekend party stop.
Rain or shine, party guests also have free reign to the open space in the back of Southampton Inn, including the tennis court. There are a few toys for kids, too, just in case. You can even bring your dog. Shower facilities are available - in case this is your stop inbetween the beach and dinner.