“Rock Week” has never been quite so boring on “American Idol.”
And it seems like Nicki Minaj was the only judge who noticed.
When the “edgiest” choice of the night is Evanescence’s “Bring Me to Life,” something is clearly wrong. Has “Idol” decided that the finalists can really only choose from an extraordinarily short list of previously cleared songs or are these finalists (aside from Angie Miller) so out of it that they don’t know ANY rock songs from after 1986? Either way, that’s a problem.
“I fell asleep on that song, too,” Minaj tells Candice Glover after a good version of “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction” that was actually more impressive after learning she was performing it with a broken toe, an injury caused by an April Fools' prank on Lazaro Arbos gone wrong. (“Don’t you know Lazaro's got special powers?” Minaj asked her. “I do now,” Glover replied.)
Minaj previously claimed drowsiness after the pageantry performance of Billy Joel’s “It’s Still Rock and Roll to Me” by Kree Harrison, Amber Holcomb and Janelle Arthur, who had already done a bland version of Joel’s “You May Be Right” earlier.
The other judges praised the performance, as well as Joel’s songwriting.
“Billy Joel, he writes some good lyrics!” said Mariah Carey.
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“How cool are the Billy Joel songs? We’ve already heard two tonight!” added Keith Urban.
“How cool is Billy Joel as a songwriter? Amazing!” Randy Jackson chimed in.
But Minaj wasn’t having it.
“I coulda done without that particular song choice,” she said. “It put me to sleep. It was just so cheesy … I hated this performance.”
Minaj was right. It was cheesy and staged terribly, though part of that may have been because Harrison was suffering from a pinched nerve. (Harrison’s solo performance of “Piece of My Heart” looked uncharacteristically uncomfortable, though still sounded good.)
Producers seriously couldn’t have found a rock song from this century to spice up what they had to know was a boring show? The other group numbers were equally uninspired, though Candice Glover did liven up “The Letter” with Burnell Taylor.
Angie Miller won the night kind of by default, though her “Bring Me to Life” really did end with a spectacular note, even as she was trying to hold her shirt down when the wind machine turned on. Amber Holcomb was much improved on "What About Love," though she really was shouting when she reached the top of her register.
No one was really all that bad either, though somewhat uninspired.
Lazaro Arbos was a little off on “We Are the Champions” and he flubbed the lyrics again on the “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” duet. Will his fans be able to keep him from going home? Maybe.
Burnell Taylor seemed lost on “You Give Love a Bad Name” and will likely be the next to go.
Angie Miller, “Bring Me to Life”
Candice Glover, “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction”
Kree Harrison, “Piece of My Heart”
Amber Holcomb, “What About Love”
Janelle Arthur, “You May Be Right”
Burnell Taylor, “You Give Love a Bad Name”
Lazaro Arbos, “We Are the Champions”
BOTTOM THREE: Burnell, Lazaro, Janelle
SHOULD BE ELIMINATED: Lazaro
WILL BE ELIMINATED: Burnell
ACTUALLY ELIMINATED: Burnell