Nothing says “Rock Week” like hair bows.
Or Celine Dion. Or dance routines straight outta “Solid Gold.” Or bickering. (Man, there was a lot of bickering.)
The first theme week just brings out why “X Factor” hasn't connected the way it was expected to. It's out of touch with how much of America is feeling right now. While much of America may not be able to handle the truth, they certainly don't want lies. They certainly don't want to hear about bending rules and technicalities on their singing competition. They see enough of that in real life.
So go ahead and nod and wink your way through explaining how Bob Marley is rock, L.A. Reid. People know you're just defending what Chris Rene wanted to do, which was subpar reggae without an ounce of the rebellion that made Marley rock. What Astro did with “I'll Be Missing You” was exponentially more “rock” than Rene, without changing his hip-hop style one bit.
Josh Krajcik was the only one who actually rocked out, with Foo Fighters' “The Pretender,” even after he wasted some time with a too-slow opening again. (Doesn't Nicole Scherzinger understand how to start songs in the middle?) Lakoda Rayne was sort of rock (hair bow and all) with their mashup of The Outfield's “Your Love” and Fleetwood Mac's “Go Your Own Way.” And LeRoy Bell was faithful to Bob Seger's “We've Got Tonight” – except for, you know, the lyrics, changing “No one will care girl” to “No one will tellllbluhhhh” and “I know you're weary” to “It's really feeling.” Once again, no one said a word about the messed-up lyrics.
Of course, that was far from the worst of the night. At least he remained in key, something Stacy Francis didn't manage on “It's All Coming Back to Me Now.” And while Marcus Canty's “Piece of My Heart” was slightly wobbly vocally, it was an embarrassing performance-wise as he slid on the floor through female dancers' legs after promising to be true to his preacher's kid roots.
“You said you were going to be a good boy and I saw you look up 10 girls' skirts,” said Simon Cowell, calling him out. Truth!
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Astro, “I'll Be Missing You”
Josh Krajcik, “The Pretender”
Rachel Crow, “(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction”
Drew, “With or Without You”
Lakoda Rayne, “Your Love/Go Your Own Way”
Melanie Amaro, “Everybody Hurts”
LeRoy Bell, “We've Got Tonight”
Marcus Canty, “Piece of My Heart”
Chris Rene, “No Woman, No Cry”
Stacy Francis, “It's All Coming Back to Me Now”
BOTTOM TWO: Lakoda Rayne, LeRoy Bell
SHOULD BE ELIMINATED: LeRoy Bell
WILL BE ELIMINATED: LeRoy Bell
ACTUALLY ELIMINATED: Stacy Francis (!)