Now officially halfway through its ordered 10-episode run, Bravo's "Princesses: Long Island" is also officially boring.
When Princess Casey Cohen offered to be fellow castmember Erica Gimbel's sponsor at Alcoholics Anonymous during episode 2, I thought, "Please oh PLEASE let this happen" Casey offered her services the night after a Manischewitz-fueled blowout between herself and Erica, and I thought if she followed through it would be wildly entertaining. Well, some version of that scenario occurred on Sunday night's episode, but it was anticlimactic to say the least.
In a nutshell, Erica (permanent stinkface intact) all but laughed in Casey and Chanel Omari's faces when they dropped in "unexpectedly" (yeah, right) on Erica at her (parents') home. Then Erica and her mom got all "Mean Girls" on C&C behind their backs after it was over, agreeing that Casey is a bore. The most entertaining part of this whole intervention is the discovery that Casey's white BMW has a red (leather?) interior. Fit for a princess, indeed.
Noticeably absent from episode 5 was Amanda Bertoncini's boyfriend Jeff. He was kind of starting to annoy me in previous episodes with his constant hanging around, but after how completely dull this hour was I found myself missing his borderline-creepy ogling of Amanda and her mom Barbara. However, Babs (my favorite Princess) got plenty of screen time and had me literally LOL-ING with her wise suggestions for Amanda's entrepreneurial venture, the Drink Hanky. Thanks to Babs, "Princesses" viewers are all now well aware that not only does the Drink Hanky keep your hand warm and dry while holding a beverage, it can also be used as a sock puppet and a case for your sex toys! Surely Amanda appreciates that one.
Maybe one reason why this episode had me yawning was because it began to pry the lid off certain stereotypes of young Jewish-American women that Bravo capitalized on to promote the show: that they are pampered quasi-adults without jobs. Newsflash: Two of them are CEOs of their own companies!
Besides Amanda and her Drink Hanky, Joey Lauren introduces her Kissamint product, which is a doubled-sided item with a lipgloss on one end and a breath freshener on the other. Though Kissamint's launch is imminent, Joey's dad seems neither proud of her nor impressed, and in not so many words he tells her she should give up on the venture already after working on it for two years. Joey, ever the tough one, can't hold back the tears as she tells him, "I have nothing more in me to try any harder." It's in this scene that viewers learn Joey did in fact live on her own, but moved back in with her dad to put money she was depending on for rent toward funding Kissamint.
So for those of you still hate-watching "Princesses," take that. I'm looking at you, @TheFauxMilaniaG.