As you may be aware, Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi this morning confirmed via Us Weekly what really doesn't need confirming: She is indeed pregnant and engaged, etc.
Allow me to be the first to congratulate you, Snookums.
But here's the pull quote that'll get everyone talking today:
"If anything, I'll visit the shore. I'm not living in that house being pregnant. I don't want to be one of those moms who’s pregnant in a club. It's disgusting."
Because the 6th season has yet to begin taping -- the current one doesn't wrap till mid-April -- the obvious question now has to be: Will it ever begin taping? Perhaps the better way to back into this question: Can "Jersey Shore" survive without Snooki?
The question has most certainly been vetted at MTV -- not that I have an inside source on this one, but the question has to be vetted. If I'm MTV, with a franchise on the line, and a spinoff as well, the obvious answer is absolutely, the show must go on, with or without Snooki. That's the standard TV reaction to anything involving a profit center. It's such an automatic reflex planted so deeply within the deepest recess of the TV industry's reptilian cortex, that it doesn't even need to be spelled out: The show must go on if there is more money to be made. . .
And because the reflex is so reptilian, devoid of any real thinking, based merely on impulse predicated on profit motive, it overlooks the obvious: Namely in this case, that it really shouldn't go on.
"Jersey Shore," for all it's manifold faults -- and no need to get into those in this post -- is Snooki. Its debauchery, its humor, its quirkiness, its insanity, its what-the-hell-I'm-drunk-and-don't-give-a- ----- attitude, its utter brainlessness at times, and unexpected braininess at others. . . its entire character. . .is Snooki.
Without Snooks, we have just another reality show without focus or intent -- one without its star attraction, its only real and enduring star (or at least the star who will enjoy fame for 20 minutes instead of 15.) None of this is meant to be construed that Snooki actually has talent -- she does not -- but it is meant to be construed as a fundamental truth. "Jersey Shore" is Snooki, and vice versa.
How can this thing go on without her?
By the way, the Wrap actually got a statement from MTV:
"No decision has been made yet on a sixth season of 'Jersey Shore,'" an MTV rep tells TheWrap.