Constantine Maroulis is back to perform on "American Idol" -- even six years after his stint on the show he's still defending his title as cheesiest finalist of all time.
I mean, he really thinks he's making love to the camera and the mike, does such a slowed down, dramatic, self-indulgent over-the-top verison of "Unchained Melody" that were Simon Cowell still around, he'd throw his chair to end it.
He's also off-key, to boot. My gosh, now he's shouting each line. It's a really freaky, weird performance, like in his own mind he's a superstar and can do whatever he wants.
Or else he's still very confused about his musical identity yet desperate to make it somehow.
Next they show Gwen Stefani dressing the female contestants. It's amazing how tall she is. And also funny watching them put together what turned out to be their hideous outfits last night -- but the things they chose for themselves at first were even worse, if possible.