Well, here we are for the first results show on "Dancing with the Stars'" 16th season? Isn't that exciting...?! Depends upon one's definition of the word, but "DWTS" remains very much a work in progress if last night's scores are any indication and they are.
(Although the Derek Hough/Kellie Pickler jazz routine -- good -- did indicate an intriguing new use of lightsabers. See below).
Dorothy Hamill? Almost certainly impossible for her to win now, or even place, to my surprise. I saw her as a top three or four contender, but last night was such a dramatic reversal -- 15 points out of a possible 30 -- that she now has found herself in a very deep hole. Meanwhile, check out Zendaya in this clip below -- at about three minutes in: She doesn't even clap after Hamill concludes her woeful jive. That breaks a long-standing protocol in which competitors always clap for each other here, no matter how lousy. I guess Zen thinks she won, but it's helpful for her to remember that viewer votes count, too.
Who goes tonight? Almost certainly D.L. Hughley who has a two-week total of 28, which means viewers would have had to cover an eight point spread between his score and the next lowest one.
Too bad about Dorothy. At 56, she would have been the oldest "DWTS" winner. But there's still time to reverse last night and she'll most likely get that chance next week: