Believe it or nuts, Ricky Gervais got a nomination for his Golden Globes hosting gig -- as best host, presumably. This is nuts because Gervais insulted everyone in the room -- and everyone in the room votes. That said, because Hollywood is a self-loathing place, what better reason than to nominate Gervais?
But I digress: He says he wants Charlie Sheen to accept his Emmy if he wins in September. I think Charlie will do it -- if only to give the industry one final parting gift, whatever that may be, although that may be best left to the imagination.
"I'd like Charlie Sheen to accept my Emmy if I win for hosting the Golden Globes," he told the LA Times-based blog, Gold Derby.com, which exhaustively covers all-things-awards. (He was nominated for best special class program.) "I took every Emmy voter in America to see Cher in concert. It cost me a million, but it was worth it. Apparently, she's still alive. She even older than those 'Sex and the City' gals. In fact, she played their mum in 'Bonanza.'"
"Usually, you have to kill someone to get that kind of press I got hosting the Golden Globes. I have a message for every serial killer. Don't bother going on that murder spree if all you want is attention. I've seen 'Dexter.' It's not worth it. Just host the Golden Globes and make a gay Scientology joke. "I can't believe the reaction it caused. I don't care if you're offended. Just because you're offended, doesn't mean you're right. If you don't like what I did at the Globes, you should see my stand-up act. Your head will explode.
"Why is anybody surprised by what I did at the Golden Globes?" he adds. "Everybody knows what I do. I roast people. I'm an outsider so I roast people on the inside. I don't want to be just a court jester. A comedian's job is to make people think as well as to laugh. Comedy is an intellectual exercise. What did I say that was so terrible?" he asks. "I thanked God for making me an atheist. Why is it OK to thank God if you win an award? You're breaking the 10 commandments. You're taking the lord's name in vain – as in vanity. When you thank God in your acceptance speech, you're saying that you believe God helped you to win this award."
[By the way, as I pointed out at the time, "Thank God I'm an Athiest" is a joke older than the Bible. I thought Gervais was pretty good that night, and I think he could win the Emmy. Let's hope Charlie turns up.]