Breaking! Fox has approached Jennifer Lopez to replace Mariah Carey for the rest of the season on "American Idol"! TMZ has it! The Hollywood Reporter first had it! It must be true!
Now, turn over and go back to sleep. True reports or not, this is not going to happen. It cannot happen. It should not happen. And if it does happen, it will be the first indication that "American Idol" — one of the great pillars of American TV entertainment for the past decade — will be canceled within two years.
Here's why: Because this will prove that Fox and FremantleMedia have absolutely no clue whatsoever how to fix this ailing franchise. None at all. Replace a judge on the eve of the final rounds? You think that would work, Fox?
I like lists. Maybe you like lists. Anyway, here's a list: Why J.Lo should not/will not be back in the driver's seat:
1.) J. Lo has pride — and this is not the way to assuage wounded pride. She didn't get her huge bankroll last season like she thought she would, and walked away; the call went out to Diva # 2 at that point. But she always said — and appeared to mean it — that she was going to leave at the end of the season anyway. I think I counted 10 instances of J. Lo saying she was done — had other work to do, another album, a child (children!), a family, a marriage to work on, a tour to go on... She was busy. What? Is she no longer busy?
2.) Mariah is a good judge. Sorry haters, but she is. She's intelligent, sensitive, and gentle — and prepared. She seems to care — or else she's a good actor, and is therefore in the wrong business. She's a vital counterweight to Nicki "How Ya DOIN!?" Minaj, who is none of those other things. (Though I do like Nicki too — at least she can mean when meanness is called for.)
3.) Judges aren't dumped in the middle of a run. Doesn't happen and shouldn't happen. Bad idea. Viewers are confused, and worse, contestants are confused. This would screw them over big time. Imagine: Mariah, who counseled them for months, is suddenly out?! Is that fair to them? No. Of course not.
4.) This could be another "Idol" publicity gimmick. "Idol" plays the media all the time. Trust nothing that has the word "informed source" on it when it comes to "Idol" stories. The "informed source" invariably has a game plan — the game being to get the media to write about the show. And it works every time! See — this post is proof.
5.) Judges are not the show's problem! That's a whole other blog post but let's face it: Here you have four remaining contestants who are excellent; arguably some of the best finalists in "Idol" history. And still viewers yawn? Don't blame Mariah for that. Blame someone — but not her.