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'Kourtney and Khloe Take the Hamptons' review: The Hamptons will survive

Khloé, left, and Kourtney Kardashian head to lunch

Khloé, left, and Kourtney Kardashian head to lunch at Zach Erdem's 75 Main on Tuesday, June 4. Photo Credit: XactPiX / Splash News

 Kourtney and Khloé Kardashian ... Those three names (or is it two names?) have struck a certain chord on the East End this summer. Will they ruin the Hamptons? Will they not ruin the Hamptons? And: What are they doing in the Hamptons anyway? 

I got a look a look at the pilot Sunday afternoon, and I am happy to report: The Hamptons will survive. The Kardashians? I'm worried about them, however.

My review:

THE SHOW: "Kourtney & Khloé Take the Hamptons"

WHEN | WHERE: Nov. 2. at 9 p.m. on E!

WHAT IT'S ABOUT:  Kourtney & Khloé Kardashian spend the summer in the Hamptons so they can a.) open their pop-up store, DASH, and b.) make a show. The opener finds Scott (Disick) and Kourt arriving at their magnificently appointed summer home -- only to find the door locked. It's a bit of a metaphor for their relationship -- which gets increasingly rocky over this hour --and perhaps for the Hamptons itself (not perhaps embracing of these arrivistes). Khloé is not wild to be here, and takes the first opportunity to exit, stage left, to Africa, with boyfriend and music entrepreneur French Montana. That leaves Scott, Kourt and the kids, and the unhappiness begins to build.  

MY SAY:  "Kourtney & Khloé Take the Hamptons" is -- as expected -- the kind of show that will make Hamptons old-timers or long-timers or for that matter any-timers grind their teeth and seethe with an unfathomable fury, that -- once they actually fathom it -- can be summarized as follows: "It's people like this that have ruined this place ..." But settle down, lose the anger, and realize that the Hamptons in this program is just another innocent bystander, recruited to sell clothes (at pop-up store, DASH), and the Kardashian brand. The Hamptons are really only kind of incidental here: A backdrop that doesn't particularly add anything other than the requisite beach shot, or yacht shot, or Southampton Main Street shot. The Hamptons has been reduced to a series of postcards, full of alluring greens and blues, but otherwise with absolutely no substance or depth. It's the fly-by view, and it does fly by. French and Khloé can't wait to get out -- and do, for South Africa. Scott can't wait to get out -- and does, for Manhattan. That leaves Kourt, who addresses the camera on occasion with a gray, grim blast of the downers: "I've done as much as I can and [Scott] needs to make a decision about how he wants to lead his life ... I want him to go away ... I don't want the kids to see their dad sleeping in all day, drunk." 

She's often the human equivalent of that mock cartoon audio effect that designates a turn for the worse ..."wah. wah ... waaaaaahhhh!"

"Kourtney & Khloé Take the Hamptons" isn't for Hamptonites or haters, however, but for fans, and they should find nothing here that necessarily derails their devotion. But I do think they'll be surprised by how somber the whole affair is. They know Scott and Kourt have problems, but they may not be fully prepared for the relentless negativity of those problems. There's a constant thrum of anxiety, and idle-rich unhappiness -- that these incredibly fortunate people are doing nothing and going nowhere, and doing it in high style. At least Khloé and French are having a great time in South Africa. Poor Scott is actually locked out of the house by the end of the episode.

BOTTOM LINE: Fans -- and this is for fans -- will like, while everyone else will be puzzled or repulsed. But even fans may find a strange and unsettling melancholy.

GRADES: 

 For fans: B-

 For everyone else: " ... wah wah waaaah." 

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