Lee DeWyze or Crystal Bowersox will win "American Idol' tonight, but first -- two hours of hoopla! 

One thing's for sure, Lee's not gonna win the fashion award; he looks like Harry Potter in his crested burgundy blazer. Crystal looks slightly better in her schoolgirl outfit; I guess they're gonna do some duet, to "Be True to Your School"?

Lee's fans make more noise than Crystal's at the start; I think he's gonna win, but I thought Adam Lambert would win last year.

The other finalists come back, they're singing "School's Out." Holy "Glee" influence! And then out comes "the legendary" Alice Cooper, swinging his cane and sounding just as elderly.

It's painful listening to him. Where do they come up with these guest stars. It's insane. This is the big start to the biggest episode of TV's biggest show?! 

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You gotta be kidding me.

PHOTOS: "American Idol" final round | Lee, Crystal and Casey go home | "Idol" top 12 party with "Glee" stars

REWIND: See the winners and top finalists from each season of "American Idol"

MORE: Read all of our other "American Idol" posts

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