Stars Steve Martin and Martin Short riff humorously about Long Island in a scene from Tuesday's episode of their Hulu mystery-comedy "Only Murders in the Building."
"Long Island. My first time out of Manhattan in five years and we're going to Long Island," gripes Charles-Haden Savage (Martin), a former TV-detective actor, as he and his neighbor and true-crime podcast co-host, theater director Oliver Putnam (Martin Short), drive the Grand Central Parkway onto the 10W-E exit to the Long Island Expressway. The two, suspicions aroused, are tailing their collaborator, Mabel Mora (Selena Gomez), as she and her ex-con friend Oscar (Aaron Dominguez) head toward her old hometown of Bayport.
"Don't you go to the Hamptons?" Oliver asks Charles in the episode, written by Thembi L. Banks.
"Never," Charles answers. "I got a sister in Patchogue. She has four daughters, all with D names," which, according to the stage directions in closed captioning, he says with a "Long Island accent": "Dawn, Danielle, Dina and Dagmar. …"
"Well, I have to admit I have certainly had my share of Long Island shenanigans," Oliver replies with a chuckle. "I remember one time, I'd had a few cocktails and on a dare I rode an elephant and then threw up in a pool at a wedding in Syosset."
"I once shot an episode of 'Brazzos' in Hempstead," Charles recalls, referring to his old TV series. "It doubled for Bosnia."
Taking this as his cue to begin cracking wise about local place names, Oliver alliterates, "I once got syphilis in South Setauket."
Charles, playing along: "And I got crabs in Massapequa."
Oliver: "Ooh, I got the clap in Amagansett!"
They later find themselves in Bayport — some 43 miles down the LIE, Nicolls Road and Montauk Highway — as their quarry pulls up in front of a tattoo parlor on what Oscar says is Shore Road. The real-life locale, in Rockaway Park, Queens, was a storefront made over with signage props, adjacent to the real-life Nail Country salon at 174 Beach 116th St.
"Only Murders in the Building" focuses on three residents of a luxurious Upper West Side apartment building who join forces to create a podcast about a neighbor's murder. The series, which streams new episodes every Tuesday, has just been renewed for a second season.