Some pretty good jokes in Conan O'Brine's monologue tonight ... thanks to Osama Bin Laden ...
Great news — the world’s most wanted man, Osama bin Laden, is dead. Which means now the official No. 1 threat to America is the KFC Double Down.
President Obama gave the order for bin Laden to be killed by Navy SEALs. When he heard about it, former President Bush was furious and said, “Wait – I could have used seals???”
At the time of his death, Osama bin Laden was living in a million-dollar home with his youngest wife. In other words, if we hadn’t killed him, his oldest wife would have.
According to the CIA, Osama bin Laden was living in a house that had no Internet access. Which explains why there were all those bin Laden sightings at the Islamabad Kinko’s.
More details coming out — bin Laden was hiding in a compound with several people, including his personal assistant. Apparently, bin Laden’s last words were, “Cancel my 2 o'clock.”
President Bill Clinton called the decision to kill bin Laden a “profoundly important moment,” while Sarah Palin called it, "another example of Muslim on Muslim crime."
Today, President Obama appeared on “Oprah” but the show was taped last week. In fact, during the taping you can see Oprah give Obama the order to get rid of Bin Laden.
Some news outlets are saying that the first person to tweet about bin Laden’s death was Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Apparently, Special Forces said, “Before we call the President, we should call ‘The Rock.’”
The news of Osama bin Laden’s death interrupted last night’s “Celebrity Apprentice.” Which begs the question: How do we kill bin Laden again next Sunday?