THE SERIES "Rosewood"
WHEN | WHERE Premieres Wednesday night at 8 on Fox/5
WHAT IT'S ABOUT His name is Beaumont Rosewood Jr. He's got a hot bod, packed into a Johns Hopkins T-shirt. (Guess his vocation.) Jogging through scenic Miami, he follows a helicopter to a car wreck and instantly diagnoses the cause, to a world-weary cop who doesn't want to hear it.
Next come the cool car, the Latin beat and the high-tech lab in which Dr. Rosewood does his "Beethoven of private pathologists" thing. (As hyped on local billboards.) "Showtime!" he shouts, cuing his hot lesbian "toxicology queen" sister and her hot girlfriend to "black-light my world" for spotting corpse clues. Can it get any more sleek?
Now comes a hot-bod detective cop, female, who doesn't want to hear from Rosewood, either. Except they've got this "Castle" vibe going. (Spoiler!) Some tragic backstory shared, some future fears revealed -- are they or are they not a meant-to-be TV team?
MY SAY Tired of reading this? I'm tired of writing it, and boy, was I tired watching it. Wednesday's "Rosewood" pilot is stuffed with hackneyed setups, tedious exposition and character quirks galore.
It's a futile flashback to the hipper-than-thou hero shows of the '80s, with its own pompous 21st century "twist." While pretty title star Morris Chestnut does the single-lead strut, pretty "empowered woman" foil Jaina Lee Ortiz adds today's requisite chip-on-shoulder put-downs and unlikely butt-kicking.
BOTTOM LINE Is it over yet?