Everyone is reporting this as hard cold fact, and because Everyone is usually right on these matters, let's just go ahead and join the crowd: Mike Sorentino will join this season's "Dancing with the Stars." If this match seems a contradiction in terms -- the abbed one with the fab one -- then remember that "DWTS" is all about stunt casting, and it works best when a cast is in place that fans actually want to talk about. The Sitch qualifies perfectly. He is now the world's -- or the world of American TV's -- biggest reality star. Even Kate Gosselin and Jake Pavelka must look on in rapt wonder, thinking "we did everything to whore ourselves for fame and fortune, and this guy has lapped us a dozen times already ..." He'll be a fine addition, just as they were ... Formal announcement next Monday. Meanwhile, hostess-with-mostess Brooke Burke told George Lopez on "L Tonight" this past Monday about other potential castmembers "...I'm kinda hoping for Kirstie Alley ... because I think it would be a good experience for her. Julio Iglesias for the moms, Michael Bolton, De La Hoya ... you know he would go out and have some moves."