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'The Bachelor' recap: Juan Pablo's run ends with no ring, plenty of laughs

Juan Pablo and Clare Crawley and on the

Juan Pablo and Clare Crawley and on the season finale of "The Bachelor," which aired Monday, March 10, 2014 on ABC. Credit: ABC / Rick Rowell

"The Bachelor," otherwise known as Juan Pablo's Sexxytime Show, ended Monday night with no ring, no proposal and no declaration of love. At least the rose didn't go to waste. 

In what had to be the most bizarre finale in "Bachelor" history, Juan broke the rules (as if there were such a thing as mundane or silly as a "rule" on "The Bachelor") by refusing to propose to the "winner" -- again, a ridiculous word, but it will have to do -- Nikki Ferrell. For ABC, this presented a problem, because the expensive ring that remained in his pocket is part of a product placement deal. What happened to the ring? (Who knows, maybe Juan hocked it.) But it has been that kind of ride for ABC, which has squirmed through this season -- which became especially squirmy after Juan Pablo said in an interview that gays should not be on reality shows because "they are more pervert in a sense..." (He apologized, saying he didn't know the meaning of "pervert.")

If you've missed this season's "Bachelor" -- and I've mostly caught up with it via "Tonight," "Letterman" or "Kimmel," where it has remained a joyous staple of enduring amusement -- Juan Pablo has effectively stood the show on its ear. He is either playing it for laughs, or playing it straight, but either way ... the laughs still come out regularly.

But give him credit at least for not proposing -- a proposal which clearly would've been written on the wind anyway. Pabs was in this for the champagne, free trips, unintentional laughs and ladies. That's right -- Juan Pablo Galavis is dumb like a fox..

To the clips! Let's begin with the one from Andi Dorfman, who was also named the next "Bachelorette" Monday night; it's full of high comedy. Finally, "Ladies Tell All." Some (clearly, sadly) assumed this whole thing really is about finding true love; Juan, not so much... : (App readers: Watch here: Unfortunately, this content is unavailable on mobile phones.)

Then the non-proposal...

Then, after the ring that was never given....

The comedy is over; TV will never be the same. Certainly "The Bachelor" won't be.

Ladies tell all...)

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