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Best friend territorial about his ex

DEAR AMY: My best friend of 35 years dated a guy for more than a year -- over 10 years ago. Recently his ex found me online, and we started chatting. It seems this could lead to a date. We are very attracted to each other. However, my BFF says his ex is still his "property," and that I can't date him, or our friendship would end. I say that's selfish and not very BFF like. What do you think? Should I go on a date with the ex and let the chips fall where they may (I'm not getting any younger), or do as my BFF wants and keep my distance from his ex?

-- Bewildered in CT

DEAR BEWILDERED: I agree that your ex is being selfish and unreasonable. The statute of limitations on dating his ex passed at the point he declared his ex to be his "property." That is offensive.

At this point, you should do what you want and let the chips fall where they may, partly because your BFF's refusal to "let" you pursue this relationship already has damaged your friendship, and you may need new friends soon.

But I hope you two can work this out. You should understand that he feels threatened, and if he has any legitimate reasons for you not to pursue this relationship, you should hear him out. He should be more generous and trusting toward you.


DEAR AMY: The letter from "Anxious Aunt" really hit home. She is worried because her kindergarten nephew loves My Little Pony. Wow, I'm doubly proud that my son's kindergarten teacher got up in front of his class to talk about how everybody in Japan loved Hello Kitty after my kid had gotten some grief from classmates over his pink Hello Kitty lunchbox.

-- Ann

DEAR ANN: Change is happening, one adorable lunchbox at a time.

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