DEAR AMY: Is it ever OK to attend a wedding ceremony if you're not invited? My daughter is a bridesmaid in the wedding of her best friend -- both are now independent and live in distant places but the wedding will be in their hometown in the local church. I have known this girl forever and we have always had a lovely "friend's mom" relationship. The wedding celebration will be small and I'm not in the least put out by not being included on the guest list. I'm friendly with her parents (invited to graduations, discussed various issues, etc.) but we're not friends in a social way. However, I would love to go to the wedding itself. Is there any acceptable way to do this, or ask to do this?
DEAR CRASHER: Some churches host open weddings where church members are automatically invited to witness the ceremony. I gather that this is not one of these churches, or you are not a member of the congregation. Even though you are known by the family and your daughter is a bridesmaid, they have declined to include you in the small guest list.
So no -- unless you get Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn to front for you, it would not be appropriate for you to crash this wedding. Enjoy the photographs.
DEAR AMY: Responding to the letter from "Volleyball Mom" about her daughter playing club volleyball. If the daughter has a passion for playing, as mine did, then she should pursue it as far as she wants to go. However, chasing a scholarship just for the money is not worth it. And when she is choosing among college offers, she should remember that her athletic career could come to an unexpected end at any time. She should choose a school from which she would still want a diploma if she didn't play volleyball.
Volleyball Dad in CADEAR DAD: Very wise.