DEAR AMY: Recently, my husband went out of town with an ex-girlfriend. I refused to go with him. His relationship with her has caused many problems in our marriage. After returning from the trip, he said he couldn't remember anything from the last few weeks of his life, although he does seem to recall some details about his weekend away. For instance, he claims he did not share a bed with her. He also says they have not communicated since the weekend. This is confusing. I received an email from this woman telling me things they have talked about, but if he had not had further contact with her, how would she know what was going on in our lives after this weekend occurred? A therapist said he has anxiety-related amnesia. I love my husband, and I am willing to do what it takes to get past all of this, but he continues to be in denial about what happened. Wouldn't it be better for him to be honest? I'm sure it would help him feel better about himself, and then we could salvage a future from this entire mess.
-- At a Loss for Words
DEAR AT A LOSS: People sometimes ask me if I invent the letters sent in to me. My answer is always the same: I lack that kind of imagination. Of course, you could have invented this story, but, well, what can I say? Like you, I sometimes choose to believe the implausible.
On to your question. I don't want to undermine your husband's therapist's diagnosis, but I'm going to take my own amateur, third-party stab at what's going on with him.
His anxiety-related amnesia was triggered by the fact that he went off for the weekend with his ex. This is also known as: Cheating, lying about it and then conveniently developing amnesia.
You may continue to buy his story -- because you want to. But if I were you, I would tell this man, "Your amnesia seems to be contagious, because now I'm forgetting we were ever married."