DEAR AMY My sister is recently divorced. Her ex has moved in with the woman he had an affair with and is living with her and her three sons. I am concerned about the living arrangements her ex-husband has for my 10-year-old nephew when the boy is with him for his parental visitation. Each of the three boys has his own bedroom. When my nephew stays at the house with his father, he sleeps on the floor in one of the boys' rooms. My sister has voiced her concern and demanded that her son be given a bed and space of his own so he can have his privacy, space to be alone and read, study or play. Any advice or thoughts in getting his father to understand that this situation is not in his son's best interest? My nephew has always had his own room and has told his mother he does not want to share a room. I am concerned that all of this change and turmoil will have a negative impact on this wonderful child.
-- Loving Aunt
DEAR AUNT I agree with you that the boy's sleeping arrangements when he is with his father are very important.
Your sister should review her separation agreement -- the contract between the two that states the custody arrangement. Sometimes the custodial sleeping arrangement issue is dealt with in this document; the ex-husband might be in violation.
She should outline her reasonable concerns to her ex-husband and ask him to provide a bed for their son. She also should call her lawyer to review her options regarding legally forcing this father to do the right thing.
DEAR AMY Thank you for your response to "Challenged," whose daughter had a friend with an unstable, alcoholic mother. Please thank her for welcoming the child, "Krista," into her home! I was the daughter of an alcoholic, neglectful and abusive mother, and one of the reasons I'm a functioning adult today is the families of friends that welcomed me.
DEAR GRATEFUL Thank you for recognizing these neighborhood heroes.