DEAR AMY I attend a small college in Wisconsin. I live in a dorm. My girlfriend lives in the same dorm but on a different floor. I stopped in to see her this morning. My girlfriend and her roommate have bunk beds. My girlfriend sleeps on the top bunk, and her roommate sleeps on the bottom. As I entered my girlfriend's dorm room I noticed that her roommate was still sleeping. She had a companion with her in bed. It was a guy I did not recognize. They were both covered with a blanket. I could tell that they were topless and probably naked. As I was talking to my girlfriend, the guy woke up. He casually got out of bed. He was indeed naked. He quickly got dressed and left. I am a little concerned that a naked guy is sleeping in the same small room as my girlfriend. I am upset that she has apparently seen him naked more than just this one time. I know she is not doing anything with him, but he parades around in what is essentially my girlfriend's bedroom nude. When I asked my girlfriend if he had ever seen her totally naked, she admitted that he had! What should I do?
DEAR BOYFRIEND What should you do? You are not called upon to do anything. This situation does not seem to bother your girlfriend.
If you were invited to enter the room and your girlfriend's female roommate was walking around nude, would it bother you? Would it bother your girlfriend? I'm trying to step back and describe a scenario in which the three people involved are deliberately exposing themselves or at the very least not bothering to cover themselves. If your girlfriend does not like this situation, she should contact her resident adviser and also the dean of housing to complain.
This obviously makes you uncomfortable, and you are feeling jealous. You and your girlfriend need to talk about this.
You two may have different nudity comfort levels. However, you also might have different values, and values are nonnegotiable.