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Husband wants full disclosure about wife's past

DEAR AMY: My wife and I have been together for 25 years. We have four beautiful children. We started dating just after high school. I had had only one previous sexual partner and told her everything. She told me about several people she'd been with, mostly mutual friends from high school. I've since found out that there were several more. I've asked her for full disclosure, and she refuses. She says I don't have the right to ask her. With our 25th high school reunion coming up, I feel I have a right to know. Do you think I have a right to know?

-- Unhappy Husband

DEAR UNHAPPY: In theory, I think you have a right to know about your wife's previous sexual partners.

In actuality, I think you carry the potential for making your 25th high school reunion exciting, to say the least. But instead of worrying about ancient history, you should dance to your favorite Milli Vanilli song and try your hardest to have a great time.

Surely your wife is nervous about your reaction to this list -- as well as possibly embarrassed by how busy she was in high school.

The burden is on you to convince her that you can be trusted with this information. I don't think you're there. A marriage counselor could help to mediate this -- after your reunion.


DEAR AMY: "John" is a Silicon Valley worker who complained about a co-worker who routinely copied his clothing style. That guy should start his own consulting business on the side. He could do well dressing those of us who work in tech fields and don't know what we're doing, fashion-wise.

-- In the Valley

DEAR VALLEY: If "pulled from the rummage bin" was a definable fashion style, tech workers would have it made.

I like your suggestion.

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