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Military wife doesn't want more 'friends'

DEAR AMY: My husband is active-duty military. We move quite often. There is a Facebook page dedicated to the military spouse community in most locations. They are great resources for newcomers with numerous questions. Upon introducing myself to a new group online, I'll typically receive several friend requests from group members. I am not comfortable adding strangers to a Web page I reserve for close friends and family to keep up with my doings across the country. With acquaintances that I am not on Web pages with, I say I rarely use Facebook and give them my email until I get to know them better. Since these women can see that I'm participating in the Facebook group, I can't use that excuse. A tactful way of dodging these requests would be much appreciated.

-- Military Wife

DEAR WIFE: Simply tell the truth: "I use my personal Facebook page only for very long-term friends and family members, but I am enjoying communicating on the group page. It would be better for me to exchange email addresses -- if that works for you."


DEAR AMY: I'm responding to the letter from "Worried Wife." The wife was sitting next to her husband and started looking at his phone content, and he slapped it away. He claimed he was "merely protecting his privacy." It's too bad society has created this aura of privacy. There aren't any secrets or privacy in a good marriage. Since he has nothing to hide, he should have said, "Next time you want to look at my phone, you may if you ask."

-- Happy Husband

DEAR HAPPY HUSBAND: I agree with the response you suggest for the husband, but the question came from the wife, who was trying to justify her choice to grab his phone, punch in the pass code and scroll through his messages.

I agree there should not be secrecy in a good marriage, but I disagree about privacy. I think every member of a family has a right to personal privacy.

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