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Jessica Simpson is not an 'everyday woman'

Celebrity mentor Jessica Simpson speaks onstage during the

Celebrity mentor Jessica Simpson speaks onstage during the “Fashion Star” panel at the 2012 winter TCA Tour at the Langham Huntington Hotel and Spa in Pasadena, Calif. (Jan. 6, 2012) Credit: Getty Images

Jessica “Daisy Duke” Simpson is having trouble losing her baby weight — and I am going to stop typing so that my fingers are free to play the world’s tiniest fiddle in her honor.

OK, I feel better now.

In the run-up to her first commercial as a new spokeswoman for Weight Watchers and her big reveal Monday on the new Katie Couric show, headlines from an interview where Simpson spoke about her pregnancy pounds clogged the media. “I’m not a supermodel, my body is not bouncing back like a supermodel,” she told USA Today. “I’m just your everyday woman who is trying to feel good and be healthy for her daughter, her fiance and herself.”

Predictably, the “Fashion Star” host’s lament got her sympathetic props for her honesty, especially since she has been meanly bashed in the media for her fluctuating weight. But the collective pat-on-the-back almost made me gag on my 1-point shirataki fettuccine noodles.

Simpson is just one in a long line of celebrity weight loss flacks who are paid to mislead us about how easy it will be. The “Dukes of Hazzard” star is not an “everyday woman.” Everyday women pay — not get paid — to follow the Weight Watchers program. They might work with a personal trainer — as she is four to five days a week — until they can no longer make it wedge into the family budget. They cannot afford personal chefs, though; I have a hunch she can.

We all got hungry, as she did, during our pregnancies. And many of us looked like hell in our wide-width shoes because of gorging ourselves on too much mac and cheese, as she did, before and after delivering. But let’s get real when we hear Simpson say as she steps on the scale 40 pounds lighter than before: “I feel like everybody can do what I am doing.”

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