Did that inspire Frankel to write "A Place of Yes"? The 40-year-old wife and mother who lived in Old Westbury as a teen dishes as she prepares to make a Long Island stop on Friday to promote her new book.
What is a place of yes?
A place of yes doesn't mean you have to be in a good mood all the time. This is not the power of positive thinking. This is just how you get to where you want to get to. ... There is no no.
Why do you think most people never accomplish what they truly want to?
I tell a story in the book about an ex-boyfriend. We broke up. I didn't want our life together. He said, "Well, every 9-year-old boy wants to pitch for the Yankees." I said, "Ya?" And he said, "I'm not pitching for the Yankees." I said, "Well, I still want to pitch for the Yankees." ... Most people would've stayed in that relationship because it was a good relationship and it was secure. And there were parts of me that thought this is as good as it gets. But those decisions are made out of fear. I made decisions out of truth and ended up being where I want to be.
But aren't there obstacles that cannot be overcome?
You have to be realistic. Pitching for the Yankees is a very extreme example.
Fans will recognize the book's title from the "Real Housewives" fight. Did that moment inspire the book?
That was just in my vernacular, and I said it to her , but I had already planned this book.
How long did it take you to write the book?
A long time. I guess a year and a half. I burned the whole book in the barbecue and started over. It wasn’t fully there yet. I hadn’t been married. I hadn’t had my baby yet. I just didn’t have the same perspective that I have now. It just wasn’t where I wanted it to be, and it was very frustrating. I kind of had to just go back to the drawing board. I had to use what I was writing in the book to get the book written.
There are 10 rules in the book. What is the essence of the advice?
The bottom line is you’re going to get there. You have to be on the road. You may get derailed. You may have to stop. But you’re going get there as long as you’re moving forward.
Were you always a fan of self-help books?
My publishers were like, “It needs to be funnier.” And I was like, “This isn’t that funny.” This isn’t Chelsea Handler’s book where everything’s a joke -- and I think that book is great -- it is serious. People’s lives are serious. The process that I take you through -- from breaking the chain of your childhood to coming together and celebrating -- are issues I worked through. It’s a total journey, and you may never get to your destination. I haven’t read tons of self-help. I’m a spiritual person, but I find them all to be too spiritual. I don’t think it makes people feel better to say they just have to will something to happen. I think people would find that annoying and frustrating. They want a call to action. That’s why there are 10 rules.
Even though being in the spotlight is your thing, what is the downside to the fame?
Oh, God, I can’t walk on the beach with my daughter without being assaulted by cameras. That I live with cameras in my house a lot. I don’t have that much of a private life. People know a lot about what my issues and downfalls are. It can make you feel very vulnerable.
Do you still watch “The Real Housewives of New York City”?
I will definitely watch it.
Do you watch the other “Real Housewives” shows, and what’s your favorite?
None of them religiously, but I do enjoy Atlanta.
WHEN | WHERE: 7 p.m. Friday at Book Revue, 313 New York Ave., Huntington
INFO: Free, but books to be signed must be purchased at Book Revue; 631-271- 1442, bookrevue.com