In an age when virtually everything can be solved by the slightest graze of a finger, behold Pooper, an app in which you can assign others to literally pick up your dog's excrement.
Similar to Uber, users need just download the app. Then, snap a leash on Fido, take him/her on a walk and wait for the inevitable. When the time comes, take a pic of the poop with your phone, "request a scoop" to drop a pin and alert a scooper to your location and then get the heck out of dodge! You can really just leave it lying there, assured that a scooper is on the way; the app notifies you when the scoop is complete and payment is fully automated. What's simpler than that? (If your answer is scooping it yourself, you may not be the ideal customer for this app.)
According to Pooper's website, Pooper Basic ($15 per month) will buy you 2 scoops a day and give you scoopers in an unlimited scoop radius. At the other end of the spectrum is the luxurious Pooper Elite ($35 per month), which gets you unlimited scoops in an unlimited radius!
Unfortunately, you won't be able to download the app just yet; Pooper won't be available in the App Store until this fall, or so we're told. Skeptical, we reached out to Team Pooper; they assured us that the company is absolutely real.
However, questions remain: In some municipalities where fines are issued for those who don't clean up after their dogs, what happens when users try to explain that they're "waiting for their 'Scooper'?" Talk about being the one left holding the bag!
If you're on the other side of this and want to become a Scooper, Pooper touts the highlights of the job description: "Scoop when you want, earn what you want."