It’s 11:45 a.m. and I’m the sole customer at Burger King in Farmingdale. And, says the cheery young woman behind the counter, the first ever to order the new bacon sundae.
Ready to make local history, I whisper “Hello, handsome” to the seductively swirled vanilla “soft serve” in my plastic cup. There are lovely drizzles of chocolate and caramel syrups, a crisp strip of bacon plunged in at the jauntiest of angles and then more bacon, crumbled artfully on top. America’s Next Top Model, sundae edition -- a cheap date, at only $2.49.
In goes my spoon. And, with the first tentative bite, out goes the notion that presentation means everything. And that salty and sweet are a natural combination. And that bacon can make anything taste better.
Not this bacon, cold and unnaturally smoky. My pretty “soft serve” tastes artificial and chalky, closer to shaving cream than real vanilla ice cream. And why do those syrups remind me of cough medicine? Two more tastes and my spoon is outta there.
Such a brief fling it was -- one that left a bad taste in my mouth. Meaty, greasy, milky. On the bright side, at least I’d saved myself from squandering 510 calories -- and my culinary credibility.