41° Good Evening
41° Good Evening

Dr. Burger King will see you now

Burger King. Fast-food giant. Self-actualization guru.

The country’s No. 2 burger chain just announced that it was ditching its iconic slogan, “Have It Your Way,” for “Be Your Way.” According to The Associated Press, the burger chain said that the new motto is intended to remind people that “they can and should live how they want anytime. It’s OK to not be perfect. ... Self-expression is most important and it's our differences that make us individuals instead of robots.”

Thanks, Burger King. Whenever I feel bad about myself, when I feel like nothing I do is good enough, I’ll think of you, and the faith you have in me.

When I feel like just another cog in the wheel of human existence, I’ll take comfort in your belief in my value as an individual.

Really, this is a slogan tailor-made for a food snob like me. I never eat at Burger King and I just assumed that effectively nixed any chance of our having a deep and abiding relationship. But now I understand that Burger King is not primarily interested in my patronage; it is interested in my emotional well-being.

All I want to know is this: Does Burger King accept Cigna’s mental health plan?

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