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Comedian Jim Breuer talks Long Island roots, food and more

Valley Stream comedian Jim Breuer likes to make you laugh even while you’re eating.

Jim Breuer is a “Saturday Night Live” alum, stand-up comedian,TV and film actor, musician and radio and podcast host. He currently has a residency at The Paramount concert hall in Huntington, where he performs once a month.

We caught up with the funnyman over lunch.

Growing up in Valley Stream, what did your family eat and where?

Thursday night was sauerbraten night on Rockaway Avenue. I think the place might have been called The Night Cap. We’d get in there, and my mom would get her two martinis, and that food would come, and as a kid, I would always order a burger ’cuz I did not want to mess with that. I was 14 when I started loving it. It’s pot roast that’s cooked and marinated in this vinaigrette and spices, and it’s sour-sweet, served with potato dumplings and red cabbage. And the gravy’s got to be perfect, too. Once in a blue moon, I’ll find a German restaurant and I’m gonna order the sauerbraten with potato dumplings and the red cabbage, and that’s all I wanna eat when I’m there.

You’re a die-hard Mets fan. At Citi Field, what are you hungry for when the Mets are winning? What about when they’re, um, losing?

Winning or losing, as soon as I get there, I have a beer. What I love eating there is Shake Shack. I crush Shake Shack! I order the regular cheeseburger. If I’m in the stands, I’ll get a Carvel, I always hit Carvel. Oh man, I do vanilla with the fudge and chocolate sprinkles.

How do you entertain when you’re at home with the wife and kids?

I always come home and try to start up some anarchy! And usually it’s me trying to get everyone to play or participate in something. If it’s nighttime, it could be a card game or if it’s the day, we’ll go for a hike, or go out to a coffee shop. I wanna gather as much information from my daughters [he has three] while I’ve been gone. Basically, I’m a private investigator, nonstop. And my daughters give it up, they tell me 90 percent.

Like other performers, you probably have a rider in your contract, specifying what foods and drinks you like to have in your dressing room. What’s on your list?

Easiest thing in the world, and everyone’s always baffled. I walk in and see a fruit and vegetable tray, and I always say the same thing: “All I need is bottled water and coffee.” I don’t like eating before the show.

This year, you’re on the road, opening for Metallica. Can you suggest a few heavy-metal and food pairings?

Pizza goes with Metallica’s “Enter Sandman.” It’s just pepperoni. I don’t need anything else past that. Ice cream goes perfect with Van Halen’s “Ice Cream Man”! You got to go hard rock with Van Halen. Now we’re in the mint chocolate chip cup with the melted marshmallow topping, then throw in the cookie crunches on top. The dark cookie crunch! White Castle at 3 a.m. while listening to Judas Priest “Living After Midnight.” You’re not going to enjoy the morning, so you pad that belly with double cheeseburgers, onion rings, French fries and extra onions!

If you were on a desert island and could only eat one thing for a month, what would it be?

Chicken Parmesan hero. 

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