On Long Island, some brides and grooms say they might find it sweet to tweet, just not at the altar.
"Since most of my friends communicate through Facebook or Twitter, I see it as a good thing. That's a way of communicating what you're excited about," said Jennifer Kern, 27, who will be getting married at the Inn at New Hyde Park in June 2011. "I probably will update my Facebook status at least once during the day."
Alison Cain, 28, of Miller Place, who is getting married in September, expects her BlackBerry-toting friends to post on Facebook. "I don't mind - as long as it's not anything negative," she said. "I know how people are. I wouldn't be offended."
Some brides have truly embraced the Facebook phenomenon. When Sandra Fogleman, 30, got married in July at Milleridge Cottage in Jericho, she tweeted and Facebook-posted before and after the wedding. Her first Facebook post was at 6:42 a.m. the day of the wedding, as she got into her gown and had her makeup applied: "So so so so happy!! It's our wedding day!" Later that morning, at 11:20 a.m., she tweeted she was "waiting for my grand entrance to the ceremony."
During the reception, a friend posted photos of the dancing couple on Facebook. Finally, in the limo on their way to the hotel, Fogleman tweeted again: "I'm a wife!!" The tweets and Facebook updates continued throughout her and husband Michael's honeymoon in France.
"Your wedding day is all about having the attention on you, and what better way to get attention than 'I'm being married right now' posted on your Facebook wall?" said Fogleman. "You have 500 friends from college who you haven't talked to in five years, and now they know."
But Anne Chertoff, editor of the AOL wedding site AisleDash.com, urges a little more restraint. Guests "should be paying attention, watching the ceremony, listening to the ceremony, being a part of the moment." As for the bride and groom, "It's your wedding day, your real friends and family, unlike your Facebook friends, are there. You don't have to be like, 'Just kissed the bride.' They saw that," she said.
And if you want to update those who couldn't make your wedding? Well, said Chertoff, "that's why you have a video. So you can make them watch it afterward."
Be a Twitterer, not a twit
In addition to the maid of honor, some brides now have a "tweet of honor" or "chief Twitterer" - a person designated to officially tweet the wedding and reception.
Howard said she's seen wedding Twittering take off in the past four months. "I'm astounded at the amount of Twitter that is coming from weddings - and not just from guests that are bored," said Howard. "I think we are headed toward integrating everything we do socially."
Wedding tweet etiquette is important, Howard emphasizes. There shouldn't be any Twittering during the ceremony, only before and after. Twittering should never be disruptive. People shouldn't tweet anything they wouldn't say out loud. Said Howard: "I don't endorse bad manners. Responsible tweeting and no tipsy tweeting."