Dan Janison Melville. N.Y. Tuesday January 26, 2010. Daniel Janison,

Dan Janison has been a columnist at Newsday since 2007.

Count on this: One major-party candidate will lose the election.

Count on this, too: The vote results will horrify and disappoint millions who backed the loser, causing a bitter airing of grievances of varying validity.

Following is a rough and impartial sampling of what you’re likely to hear from the side that ultimately loses — grouped by type and balanced in point-counterpoint style:

Scary images

Donald Trump lost because he was caricatured as the reincarnation of George Wallace.”

Hillary Clinton lost because she was caricatured as the reincarnation of Richard Nixon.”

advertisement | advertise on newsday

Surprises

“Donald Trump lost because of recorded ‘locker room talk’ about assaulting women that was unfairly released.”

“Hillary Clinton lost because FBI chief James Comey violated policies of the Justice Department, creating an eleventh-hour witch hunt, with early and mail-in voting already underway.”

Leaks

“Donald Trump lost because of tax information that he refused to divulge — but which partially leaked out anyway.”

“Hillary Clinton lost due to the subversion of WikiLeaks and alleged Russian hackers, giving her opponent an unfair edge.”

Terrain

“Donald Trump lost because he couldn’t win big cities.”

“Hillary Clinton lost because she couldn’t win suburbs and exurbs.”

Insults

advertisement | advertise on newsday

“Donald Trump lost because he insulted Latinos, women, Muslims, veterans, President Barack Obama and GOP rivals and spread unfounded conspiracy theories.”

“Hillary Clinton lost because of what she said about Trump’s ‘deplorables’ and about law-enforcement practices.”

Tactics

“Donald Trump lost because he lacked a field operation.”

“Hillary Clinton lost because she put her resources in the wrong places.”

advertisement | advertise on newsday

-isms

“Donald Trump lost because of elitism, progressivism, globalism and atheism.”

“Hillary Clinton lost because of sexism, rightism, nativism and protectionism.”

Internal beefs

“Donald Trump lost because the Republican ‘establishment’ turned on him.”

“Hillary Clinton lost because Bernie Sanders supporters didn’t all get behind her.”

Race

“Donald Trump lost because too few whites voted.”

“Hillary Clinton lost because too few African-Americans voted.”

On-camera celebrities

“Donald Trump lost because of Alec Baldwin.”

“Hillary Clinton lost because of Anthony Weiner.”

*

Whichever way it breaks, someone will decry the lack of a level playing field. Trump paved the way, complaining as no candidate has before that the system is rigged against him, for reasons not in evidence.