Immigration reform is going nowhere in a hurry.
The business incentive tax credit, the Export-Import Bank, what to do in Iraq, Ukraine, Syria, Gaza, pick an international hot spot -- if it's an issue in Washington, you can bet the grid is all locked up. Even federal transportation funding, Washington's chief anti-gridlock plan, is gridlocked now.
Instead of constructive dialogue, we get schoolyard taunts between the House speaker and the president.
"I'll sue you," John Boehner threatens.
"So sue me," Barack Obama shrugs.
Paralysis isn't just a consequence of D.C. politics anymore. It's the point.
So why would anyone expect actual progress on the border crisis of unaccompanied minors coming from Guatemala, Honduras and El Salvador? It isn't an open-borders issue. The 52,000 kids are all in federal custody. They were grabbed dripping wet right out of the Rio Grande.
But as the crisis worsens, Republicans see a chance to bash Obama. The Democrats see a chance to ensure that no Latino ever again votes Republican. And the youthful refugees sit in squalor in federal holding pens -- too little money to care for them, too few asylum hearings scheduled, no hope for a rational solution. Our government can't do anything about anything. The dreamers are told, "Dream on."
GIVE ME YOUR...
5. AmericansASKED AND UNANSWERED: Would the Town of Oyster Bay drop its excessive-rowdiness suit if Smuggler Jack's had a less disreputable-sounding name? Whispering Jack's? Always-Respectful-to-the-Massapequa-Neighborhood-Jack's? . . . Rosie O'Donnell returning to "The View"? Will it be the Queen of Nice Rosie from Commack or the Snarling Avenger Rosie who showed up the last time? . . . Now that World War II tanks, artillery pieces and troop re-enactors are occupying the Old Bethpage Village Restoration, will the tour guides have to trade their antebellum bonnets for olive-drab combat helmets? . . . What's the lesson from motorcyclist Jason Quick's Sunrise Highway run-in with Suffolk highway cops? Don't ever give a fake name you can't spell? Tip for next time, Jason: It's J-O-N-A-T-H-A-N . . . Would you rather (a) pick up your mail at the post office or (b) have it delivered to your home? Most residents of South Jamesport, LI's smallest and most endangered P.O. (at 400 boxes), seem to be choosing (a) . . . Did you really expect Flavor Flav to drive slowly to his mama's funeral? Quick show of hands: Who thinks Flav drove slowly to Mineola for his Friday court date? . . . Do the Klingons know about the perfect USS Enterprise Star Trek replica in Anthony Sforza's Nesconset basement? Does the Smithtown zoning board? . . . Another day, another severed body part on LI? Can we please be known for something -- anything -- else? . . . Congress is too busy achieving things to stop an LIRR strike? No, it can't be that!
THE NEWS IN SONG: Open my door and the world walks in: Steve Earle's "City of Immigrants," tinyurl.com/
LONG ISLANDER OF THE WEEK:
If life truly is a marathon and not a sprint, what exactly is Eva Casale saying to the rest of us? That we too can do it? Or that our own grueling marathons are baby sprints to her? It's both, no doubt. As she completes her seventh 26.2-mile run in seven days, the super-marathoning 49-year-old from Glen Cove has already raised a nice pile of cash for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. She's shown how much can be accomplished with a heavy dose of willpower and two strong legs. But why stop now? As Eva and her friends celebrate her triumph this afternoon in Morgan Park, what will she say when someone inevitably asks: "So, Eva, you wanna go again?"Follow on Twitter @henican