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'Comedy Awards': Categories we'd love to see

Carrot Top

Carrot Top Photo Credit: Getty

Comedy Central’s broadcast of “The Comedy Awards” airs Sunday, but the ceremony itself occurred last week. While we won’t print any spoilers for the show here (run a search for “Comedy Awards” + “winners” online for all you need to know), we will say that the categories themselves weren’t sufficient. Here are five awards we would have liked to have seen given out:

Best Comeback Linked Solely To Irony: Carrot Top
It might not be “cool” to be a Carrot Top fan, but the man has been spotted on Comedy Central’s roasts, though why the proppiest of all comics was even allowed in the building is unfathomable.

Funniest Performance Amid a Trainwreck: Jane Lynch, ‘Glee’
Episodes of “Glee” consist of a half-hour of stale melodrama, a couple of Autotuned music numbers, and Sue Sylvester giving viewers one quotable line. Forget skipping commercials — THIS is why Tivo was invented.

Worst Impersonation of a Stand-Up: Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino, ‘Roast of Donald Trump’
This was the only time an audience could be forgiven for uttering the words, “I wish Snooki was here.”

Biggest Comedy Loss of 2010-11: Death of Greg Giraldo
Unfortunately, Giraldo is mostly known for his brief roast appearances. If you want a taste of what he was really capable of, check out his debut album, “Good Day to Cross a River,” and hear the perfect combination of smart and funny.

Lifetime Achieve-ment in Hackery: Carlos Mencia
Take one listen to his appearance on Marc Maron’s exemplary podcast “WTF With Marc Maron” and you’ll hear a man who admits to bullying other comics and stealing jokes. There’s no excuse for that.

On TV: “The Comedy Awards” air on Sunday at 9 p.m. on CMT, Comedy Central, Spike, TV Land and VH1.

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