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Conan's keys to success

Conan O'Brien

Conan O'Brien Photo Credit: Handout

Conan O’Brien is making his triumphant return to late-night television on Monday, but he has some staunch time-slot competition.

We here at amNewYork, however, believe Coco can find his way in this new late-night war if he follows some of our keys to success.

Reconnect with old fans
There’s talk that you’re going to bring back the Masturbating Bear, which is a great start for fans of your old show. But you’re going to need to go even further. We want “In the Year 2000,” Abe Vigoda and your classic underdog appeal.

Be edgier
You’re on cable. In late night. That means you can do pretty much whatever you want. Use that to your advantage. You’re able to get away with a lot and be far more biting than your network peers.

Go political
Your biggest competition is not Jay Leno or David Letterman. It’s Jon Stewart. For many of your fans, 11 p.m. means “The Daily Show” and 11:30 p.m. means “The Colbert Report.” If you want people to switch off Comedy Central, you’re going to have to satiate their political needs.

Pray people use DVRs and online streaming
Let’s face it, people do love “The Daily Show” and it’s a juggernaut for your demographic. But you can watch it online. Or at 1:30 a.m. Ideally your longtime fans will watch your show at 11 p.m. and catch the other shows later or somewhere else.

Don’t do another ‘Tonight Show’
At the end of the day, your run on “The Tonight Show” didn’t work. We know it wasn’t your fault and the big-chinned buffoon snatched it back before you were able to get your footing, but take this opportunity to do something new. “The Tonight Show” is a dinosaur. Now you can evolve.

On TV: “Conan” premieres at 11 p.m. Monday on TBS.

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