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How to make a ... Snooki


Snooki Photo Credit: Getty

Television star. Guest college lecturer. Author. Fist pumper.

How does one sum up the Snooki experience?

Aristotle once wrote that events in a good drama should be unexpected, yet logical. The life of Snooki certainly qualifies. Of course she's rumored to have nude photos floating around. Of course she was the cast member to get punched at a bar during season one of "Jersey Shore." Of course she would "compete" at WrestleMania. We never know when these types of events will occur, but once they do, it seems natural.

But how does one create the drama contained in all 4' 9" of Snooki? Here's the recipe:

Two shots of David Rainey
The "Real World: San Francisco" cast member better known as Puck was one of the first reality-television stars to become known for bad behavior.

One shot of Snookie (from "Save the Last Dance")
The dance-movie character (played by Vince Green) was reportedly the inspiration for Snooki's nickname. It's somehow fitting that one of the world's biggest reality stars would be named after a fictional character.

One shot of Trista Sutter (nee Rehn), the original "Bachelorette"
After all, is Trista any different than Snooki? Aren't they both just looking for, as the published author once put it, a "tan, guido, juicehead gorilla" who "isn't a jerk-off"?

A rinse of Oompa-Loompa
Much like the workers of Willy Wonka's factory, Snooki teaches us lessons every day, even if hers tend to be how not to act. And they're both tiny and orange!

A dash - or several - of Andy Kaufman
Someday, we will learn that this was all a put-on. Right? Please?

On TV: Season four of "Jersey Shore" debuts Thursday at 10 p.m. on MTV.


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