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NewsNew York

Recasting Charlie Sheen in 'Two and a Half Men'

Charlie Sheen

Charlie Sheen Credit: Handout

So “Two and a Half Men” is on hiatus and CBS is ordering some replacement shows for the series while star Charlie Sheen tries to get his act together.

We here at amNewYork are not going to beat around the bush: While CBS is saying Sheen will return to the show, we think it’s high time to start looking for a replacement and let this troubled man play out his life.

And it wouldn’t be the first time a popular television show replaced its star. In fact, Sheen replaced Michael J. Fox in “Spin City.”

But who’s going to take over for Sheen? amNew-York takes a look at some folks we’d like to see either replace the highest-paid actor on TV or take over as a new character in the starring role.

Emilio Estevez
Qualifications: He’s Charlie’s brother, so the transition would be pretty easy. Just say Charlie was in some kind of accident and had to get plastic surgery. Boom, your show continues.

Martin Sheen
Qualifications: Charlie’s dad could come on as, well, Charlie’s dad. Let’s face it: He’d be a much better influence on the half-man. Or he could play Charlie from the future and introduce an entirely new sci-fi time-travel angle to the show.

A Mount Everest-sized pile of cocaine
Qualifications: Who knows Sheen better than his frequent party guest, a Mount Everest-sized pile of cocaine? The coke pile probably has Sheen’s mannerisms and voice down pat by now and should easily and seamlessly make the transition to playing Charlie.

Michael J. Fox
Qualifications: Sheen replaced him on “Spin City.” Turnabout is fair play.

Will Ferrell
Qualifications: He’s stopping by when Steve Carell leaves “The Office.” He might as well stop by here too.

Shaquille O’Neal
Qualifications: He could bring the show to new levels just with his height. And with Shaq on board, you could rename the show to be more accurate: “Three and a Half Men.” Who wouldn’t watch this show?

The baseball from the ‘Major League’ poster
Qualifications: It channels Sheen’s finest moment — when he had a mohawk. With the sunglasses, it’s the spitting image of a young Charlie.

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