How many times have you found yourself getting angry and saying something you've regretted? Or feeling sad enough to skip out on an important event or meeting?
It doesn't have to be that way.
Author, counselor and talent representative Ken Lindner has been helping people harness their emotions for good use for almost his entire career. A Harvard University and Cornell Law School graduate, Lindner owns and runs the representation firm Lindner and Associates. He has helped develop the careers of big names in news and T.V., from Matt Lauer to Mario Lopez to Shepard Smith. His recent book, "Your Killer Emotions" is out now.
In "Emotions," Lindner lays out a path for those seeking to better handle their emotional responses to difficult situations.
"Your life is a reflection of your choices," Lindner said in a phone interview. "You can be the smartest person but if you're overwhelmed with emotions - if you're sad, angry or feeling hopeless - you often opt for the quick, emotion assuaging fix. But oftentimes that choice is counter to what's good for you or your career."
Lindner says the way to confront your negative emotions is to break the "toxic behavioral script." He offers these tips on how to do it:
1. First, you must identify and acknowledge that your emotional responses to situations have had a negative affect on your life.
2. Never attempt to deal with an important situation or life choice when you're overwhelmed with negative emotions. Give yourself a cooling-off period before moving forward.
3. Think about what it is that you truly want, and figure out the best way to get there. Don't react, make a plan.
4. Motivate yourself. If you're feeling disadvantaged, harness that energy for a good purpose.
5. Visualize your behavior. Before you head into a meeting, think about how you want to be perceived.
6. Make sure you understand what triggers a positive or negative emotional response.
7. Be "consequence cognizant." Think about how your reactions affect others.
8. Remember that by mastering your emotional response to situations, you willdevelop confidence.