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You don't want a ticket to ride in this carpool

DEAR AMY: I'm in a carpool with two other people. The owner of the car drives every day, and the other rider and I calculate the cost of gas and split it between us. After work we must leave the parking lot at a specific time to avoid getting a ticket. Sometimes, we leave late and find tickets attached to the windshield. Is it appropriate for the passengers to pick up the cost of the parking ticket? Or should we split the cost with the driver?WonderingDEAR WONDERING: This is an issue for all of you to discuss openly, but I think you should split the cost three ways, depending on the frequency of the ticketing. The idea is for all of you to be financially "incentivized" to be on time. If one of you is the main offender, he or she should be willing to assume the greater burden. You might solve this by adopting a standard that both discourages lateness and leaves room for the unavoidable by agreeing that you will share the cost of two tickets a month, but any tickets above that will be paid by the individual responsible for that evening's ticket. I'll run responses and recommendations from readers.

DEAR AMY: I am a high school student with a relationship problem. My two best friends are romantically involved.

The male friend and I had a fling, and I would always talk to the other friend about it. They got together really quickly after our fling ended. Now I can't handle talking about it with either of them. I want to tell them it is OK to be together, but it really hurts me. Yesterday, my best friend called me crying, saying that she "broke the girl code and she feels horrible." I don't know what to do.Sad Senior

DEAR SAD: Your girlfriend is offering you an olive branch by acknowledging that she broke the all-important girl code by getting together with your male friend before the cooling-off period had passed. When someone acknowledges a wrongdoing, the best thing to do is to accept the apology and try to forgive her. Concentrate on your friendship with your girlfriend first. Ask her not to share too much with you because it's still a difficult situation. Keep some distance from this triangle for a short time and things should settle down for all of you.


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