Whatever else we may think about Donald Trump, most would agree he is the master of cross-promotion and marketing. And in some sense what he’s pitching on the campaign trail is the greatest reality show in history: “Donald Trump: Leader of the Free World.”
But I also see a huge opportunity for a spinoff, and it’s the selection of a vice presidential running mate that’s going to make this huge hit possible. After all, what else is a vice president of the United States but “The Presidential Apprentice”?
The key is that Trump needs to get the televised contest rolling now so he has a winner ready to step into the election fray as soon as he nails down the Republican presidential nomination. Or when he is wrestled to the ground and expelled forcibly from the GOP race by Karl Rove, and a multigenerational assortment of scepter-wielding Bushes, and launches a third-party run.
But who might have the stuff to help Trump win and the aptitude to steer the Oval Office? Here are my early picks for the casting call.
It's very hard to imagine anyone in the United States voting against a presidential ticket that includes the songstress Adele.
She is the great uniter, the Sara Lee banana cake of celebrities, the person nobody doesn't like. Old folks, grumps, punks and even haters love Adele. Admittedly, it's problematic that she was not born in the United States and is not a citizen, but that's less of a problem in Trumpworld, where the same can be said of President Barack Obama.
The multitalented musician has said he wants to run for president in 2020. That sounds goofy, but when I typed "Kanye West" into Google, the second and third topic choices that come up for me (after "net worth") are "campaign" and "president." And Google pretty much runs the planet, so we might as well get used to the idea of Kanye-Kardashian Christmases at the White House. Plus, Kanye is one of very few people in the world who could go on the campaign trail and sincerely praise The Donald as (comparatively) "humble," which is a huge plus.
The biggest thing a VP candidate can bring to a ticket is the ability to deliver a state for the campaign. No state is more reliably in the Democratic column or more out of reach for Trump than Massachusetts.
That is, until New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, who considers Trump a friend and has refused to say a word against him, puts his name on the ticket and in an address to a viewing audience stretching from Great Barrington to Provincetown, tells Patriot nation to vote Donald. Plus, you could probably get Bill Belichick to head the CIA.
He's politically active. He ran for vice president on the Libertarian ticket in 1980. He is sort of quiet and reclusive, so Trump does not need to worry about sharing even a sliver of the spotlight. He's truly conservative.
And with the kind of fortune Trump isn't even egotistic enough to pretend to have, Koch could always be tapped for a little campaign money if things get tight. (Forbes figures Koch has $44 billion to Trump's $4.5 billion.)
He's good at being vice president and he enjoys it. He should be declared the running mate of every presidential candidate, regardless of party, just as a symbol of national unity and continuity -- and also because no one gives a darn who the vice president is, so why should we have to blather over it. But if we need multiple choices, it would be good to have Biden in the mix.
Then when Trump wins, all he has to do is change the Constitution so that he can pick a new vice president each year. "Presidential Apprentice" is just too "yuge" an idea not to renew it for multiple seasons.