Donald Trump tried to put to rest on Friday the birther controversy he reprehensibly fanned for so many years.
His brief but vile announcement included two additional lies that are easily disproved — that Hillary Clinton started the controversy about President Barack Obama’s birthplace and that Trump himself “finished it” — after which Mr. Accountability took no questions.
Now, Trump’s list of lies is endless. But some are so egregious that their damage spreads out in concentric circles, as with the birther issue. The attempt to delegitimize the nation’s first black president offends millions of Americans.
Nevertheless, now that Trump is at least momentarily in put-to-rest mode, will he go before the TV cameras and make the following announcements?
- The National Enquirer started that rumor about Ted Cruz’s father knowing Lee Harvey Oswald and having something to do with JFK’s assassination. By bringing that up, I finished it. Lyin’ Ted’s father had nothing to do with that, as far as I know. Period. But the Enquirer is a respected magazine. Thank you.
- Some TV stations, and you people know how dishonest they are, started that story about thousands of Muslims celebrating in Jersey City on 9/11 by showing videos of celebrations somewhere. I mentioned it, and that finished it. Now no one is confused and everyone knows the truth. Period. Just like they know that I did know hundreds of people who were killed on 9/11. I haven’t mentioned any of their names because I don’t want to intrude on their families’ privacy, you can understand that, anybody could, except the dishonest media. Thank you.
- Barack Obama did not start ISIS. Period. I finished that, by making people react when I said he was the founder and made them stronger and is their most valuable player. But there is something else going on there, right? Barack Hussein Obama has got something else in mind. I can read his body language. I know these things. Just like I was against going into Iraq in the first place. I knew it was wrong. That tape from Howard Stern’s show that everyone has heard saying I was for it is a fabrication. Stern will do anything for ratings. Thank you.
- Some group I don’t know anything about got everyone riled up by saying that blacks kill 81 percent of white homicide victims. I finished it, by retweeting its graphic. Blacks do not kill 81 percent of white homicide victims. Period. It’s 15 percent. I love African-Americans. Although I have to say inner-city crime is reaching record levels. Yeah, the stats show otherwise, but they’re rigged, like everything else. We all know some of our cities are among the most dangerous places in the world. Forget about Baghdad and Caracas and Aleppo. Oakland and Ferguson are absolute hellholes. Thank you.
- There’s been a lot of talk about Judge Gonzalo Curiel and his pro-Mexican lawyers association and his bias in my Trump University case. I finished it. I brought it out in the open and finished it. Period. The judge is OK and now everyone knows it. Just like everyone knows because of me that not all Mexicans are rapists, Megyn Kelly wasn’t bleeding from her wherever, John McCain is a war hero, Ghazala Khan was silent because she was grieving her son’s death in Iraq, women shouldn’t be punished for having abortions, mocking people with disabilities is demeaning, people don’t vote for someone based on her face and there are all kinds of beauty, women in the military should not expect to be assaulted just because they choose to serve with men, and Muslims can be good citizens. Well, some of them. Maybe. If you vet them really, really, really hard. Thank you.
No, I’m not taking any questions.
Michael Dobie is a member of Newsday’s editorial board.