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2020 vision: New year, new decade, new everything

President Donald Trump speaks at a campaign rally

President Donald Trump speaks at a campaign rally in Battle Creek, Mich., on Dec. 18. Credit: AP/Paul Sancya

A tumultuous year and decade is about to unfold. At least that’s what my 2020 vision tells me.

But did the old decade really end on Dec. 31, 2019? Or is it on the last day of 2020? Hmm ...

Whatever the case, 2020 is certain to be a bumpy ride.

Right off the bat, we start with an impeached president. While Donald Trump is eventually acquitted in a Senate trial, the fact that he is only the third president in American history to be impeached by the House sends him into a sustained fury that rages through 2020.

Meanwhile, on Feb. 3, a slight, 30-something, gay military veteran sends shock waves through the Democratic Party by winning the Iowa presidential caucus, as “Mayor Pete” Buttigieg trounces former Vice President Joe Biden, Sen. Elizabeth Warren and Sen. Bernie Sanders.

While the presidential race dominates the headlines, it’s far from the only event that rocks our world in 2020.

Although the Summer Olympics are months off, Russia already has been banned from the games. Why are they picking on Russia and poor President Vladimir Putin? It’s not like he has a track record of cheating or anything. Oh right ...

Back in the states, lines snake down the block waiting to snag the breakthrough Apple iPhone 12 Pro Max, which a highly unreliable source tells me will include such breakthrough features as a personal massager and “selfie sonograms.”

Other 2020 Vision headlines: Almond milk sales plunge, banana milk sales zoom. Impossible Burger sales down, impossible Spam bursts onto the scene. Pop singer/rapper Lizzo sales down (flashing her thong at a Lakers basketball game backfires), Australian indie pop singer Mallrat sales soar.

And, oh yes, the Yankees win their first World Series in a decade!

Soon after, the year culminates in the most important presidential election of our lifetime. Whatever the results, America will never be the same. As we go down to the wire, it gets scary, from unrestrained foreign hackers threatening to throw our elections into chaos to threats of a civil war.

But American common sense prevails, and on Nov. 3, voters turn out in record numbers to cast votes that, one way or the other, change the face of this nation forever.

Are you ready for America’s youngest, first gay president? Oldest? First woman? Or a reelected, even more emboldened and unleashed Trump? Buckle up.

Follow playwright Mike Vogel at @mikewrite7.

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