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Spencer and Heidi officially quit "Celebrity"

The bungle in the jungle is mercifully over.

Spencer and Heidi Pratt have officially quit "I'm a Celebrity . . . Get Me Out of Here." And this time they mean it. (Seriously. Until NBC offers more money. Or something.)

To readers wondering what all this is about, congratulations - count yourselves among the 301 million other Americans who haven't paid any attention to this NBC early-summer what-the-heck-have-we-gotta-lose lark that had hoped to cash in on the Pratts' "Hills" fame, such as it was.

Didn't work. Even with this shoddily manufactured controversy, viewership so far has hovered around infomercial territory - just over 5 million or so. Initially the newlyweds quit, then begged to rejoin, then had second thoughts. And third thoughts after that.

"They quit a good 10, 20 times," said former contestant comedian Angela V. Shelton. "It became ridiculous. We all stopped saying goodbye."

Reasons? Torture. Ulcers. Misery. Acute boredom.

And that's just what the viewers have been going through.

Ba dum.

In fact, the Pratts cited those ailments, among others, while Heidi Pratt (reportedly) went to an area hospital in Costa Rica, where the show has originated.

And this was supposed to be their honeymoon.

At the end of Monday's edition, co-host Myleene Klass said Heidi Pratt's sister Holly Montag will join the show Wednesday.

"So that's it, Heidi and Spencer have gone for good. Or have they? You never know with those two."

Oh, brother.

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