No, the answer to this post headline is not "Eight people who have never been in my kitchen."
Let's break down an extremely busy day:
--The Rockies traded Ubaldo Jimenez to Cleveland, capping an amazing, two-week stretch in which the industry conventional wisdom went from "Ah, they're just measuring the price for him. They're not trading him" to "They're actually trading him!"
Credit the Rockies for the return package. Drew Pomeranz appears to be a stud, and Alex White also carries an impressive pedigree. Nevertheless, looking at it from Cleveland's perspective, there's no way that the Rockies would've traded the Jimenez who started the 2010 All-Star Game for the National League. Not for anything.
So why did Colorado change its mind in a year? Obviously, the results were down, but not so dramatically that, on the surface, you'd feel compelled to trade him. I believe that the Rockies were mad at Jimenez for showing up at spring training out of shape. But is that enough reason to bail on him? What do the Rockies know about this guy that no one else does?
We'll find out, as Jimenez experiences life in the AL. Right now, though, I give the edge to Colorado.
Anthony Rieber wonders whether Jimenez will haunt Brian Cashman. Fair question. We'll monitor the work of Jimenez as well as that of Dellin Betances, Jesus Montero and Ivan Nova. Just as we monitor the progress of Nova (who won last night's blowout) and Eduardo Nunez, as Cashman refused to include them in last year's trade for Cliff Lee. And we'll see if Cashman can surprise us today with something.
--Hiroki Kuroda declined to waive his no-trade clause, so there went that for the Yankees. The Dodgers were asking for too much (Nova and either Jesus Montero or Austin Romine), anyway.
Thankfully, I haven't heard any of the "What a loser! He doesn't want to play for a championship?!" crap that often surfaces in a story of this specific nature. Let's hope it stays that way.
--Great job by the Rangers, acquiring Koji Uehara for two expendable major-league players (Chris Davis and Tommy Hunter) rather than prized prospects. Uehara will help, and now San Diego - which has been threatening all along to keep Heath Bell - might be forced to live up to that threat, and get the compensatory draft picks when (if?) he departs via free agency.
--Doug Fister may not be Jimenez, but he's been pretty solid in his three major-league seasons, and the Tigers acquired him from Seattle, as well as David Pauley. Seems like a good pickup for Detroit.
--The Cardinals got Rafael Furcal from the Dodgers to play shortstop for them. Furcal has been dreadful this season, but it's worth a shot for St. Louis.
--I wrote a couple of weeks ago that a competing official predicted the Pirates would make a "symbolic" acquisition. Hello, Derrek Lee. Why not? The team and the fans deserve an established veteran who might help.
--Speaking of well-known names with underwhelming numbers, the Giants picked up Orlando Cabrera from Cleveland. Cabrera, impressively, now has the change to qualify for his fifth straight postseason while playing for five different teams. He at least knows what he's doing defensively, and he's a clubhouse attribute.
--Finally, Arizona acquired Jason Marquis from Washington. Picking up a league-average innings-eater can't hurt.
--Here's my Sunday Insider, with some more thoughts and tidbits.
--So the deadline is 4 o'clock today, and at 10:30 tonight on Fox 5 in New York, I'll discuss everything with Duke Castiglione on "Sports Extra."